dude when I want to be, (you %have to be when running a PD library,
you know.) There's nothing I %like more than playing video/computer
games, and when I heard that a $sega world was opening in Bournmouth!(the first in Europe, no less.) I$just had to go along there and check!it out for myself. An interesting point to note here is that there!isn't a nintendo world yet, which$means that Sega are yet another step"ahead in the war against Nintendo.#The first step being that Sega have"brought out the Mega CD, while the"Super Nintendo equivilent is still just Vapour-ware. (ie. It dosn't
exist yet.)" Anyway, in sega world, there was#some of the latest arcade Machines
around (Mostly by sega, but one!unfortunate specimin was made by %Atari. Boo! Hiss!) None of those old, knackered machines that wouldn't
work for toffee (Or any other%confectionary product.) For example, #there was Vurtua Racing. Now, there"are a lot of arcades that have one$or two Vurtua Racing machines linked"together, but just playing against%one other person is about as mush fun
as watching the "Take That and%party!" video. Sega world went better!than that. How many did they have$linked? Four? Six? Heck no, they had"eight, yes eight machines. Now you!could play against lots of people!you've never met before (And even"some that you have.) And really be$nasty towards them. For example, one%car (The driver of which I have never$even met.) drove into me in the side!in an attempt to get past. (Or he!might have been trying to make me!crash.) I greeted this gesture by#smashing the little cretin into the!grand stand wall just next to the#track. I never did see him again..." There was also evidence of other people being very nasty to each #other. I remember one incident when!two people, who knew each other, #were having a private fight between themselves to see who could ram %the other person off the track first.
I'd been watching this contest $for a while and then I realised that
one of the cars had had an %unfortunate accident with the side of
the bridge (He'd been pushed !there by the other car.), and the$other one had crashed into him. With%only five seconds to go I roared past
the almost stationary cars and "got into first place, just a split
second before the time ran out.$ I was even feeling suicidal enough to try out the R-360. For those $of you who don't know what the R-360!is, it's basically G-LOC, but the!machine is able to move much more
freely, not just a feeble
side-to-side effort like its%predessesor. It's able to go all over#the place (hence 360: the number of#degrees in a full turn) It can spin!freely on both its horizontal and#verticle axis and can end up facing"compleately the opposite direction#(and often does) Although it's not "really like a roller coaster, in a#roller coaster you have no control,"but the R-360 only moves where you
tell it to move.$ Despite this however, we still had!many wild and varied discussions "on who should go on first. Ranging#from: "But if I died on that there would be one less fan of Vanessa%Paradis in England!" to "Just get in $you lazy git." Eventually my dad was
the first to give in.$ He went over to the machine, where!the attendant, a very high-voiced#female, greeted him, and showed him!into the machine. I went over to %the monitor to watch the proceedings.
The machine went through the
various safety proceedings "Put%seatbelt on." "put on safety harness" "Pull up lever" "write will" His!fighter took off and he went into
combat against all those nasty%planes. It didn't take long for me to"realise he was having as much luck$with this game as Y.L.H.G.A.H.O.M.M.#usually has with girls (even though
Y.L.H.G.A.H.O.M.M. always%keeps a condom in his wallet, just in$case). Just then I glanced away from
the monitor to see him doing
several horizontal flips for no$apparent reason. I could go on like $this all day, but needless to say he
managed to shoot down only 11
planes, and at the end failed"compleatly to land on the carrier.
What a prat.# Now it was my turn, but I decided!to watch a few others play first. One guy had to keep brushing his$dredlocks out of his face each time
he came rightway up after being!upside down. A kid managed to do !pretty badly at shooting down the!enemy (he got about 11, I think) #and, as if to rub in just how awful"he was, tryed to land the plane on#the carrier upside down. (and died)$ "OK, this is it." I thought, "I do
this now!"! I walked over to the attendant,$who, in her extreamly high voice (I could have sworn I saw a tank of!helium next to the R-360) asked:
"Have you got anything in your#pockets?" I reached down and, lo!,
discovered wealth beyond all#imagination! Two rolled up Kit-Kat wrappers!" Just then, a little toddler (You#know the ones: the ones that wander%round arcades and supermarkets trying
to beat Coin-ops into giving them a free go) waddled past the%parameter boundry, and tryed to haul #himself into the cockpit. He hadn't
paid the attendent, and only !stopped trying to climb the thing#when his mother came in and picked
him up saying "Sorry." to the%attendent and I, who had been looking
on in faint amusment.$ But this was it! No more stalling, no more excuses involving Miss. #Paradis, no more little kids trying!to hi-jack flight simulators, or men with dredlocks with minds of!their own, I was going in! (That "sounds like a fnar-ish line to me,
but I'll ignore it in the
interests of good taste. -ed)! Anyway, in the interests of not!boreing you, I managed to get 28 planes. Much better than anybody%else. (Exept one guy, who reminded me#of that guy who used to do the sega!adverts before the "Barber" took
over)
Anyway, that's it really, it was"excellent, incredable. There were
also a variety of normal arcade#machines there (most of which I've !never seen before or since) and a couple of kareoke rooms. Not to $mention the Sonic and tails pop-corn machine, which is normally only
found in Japan, than dispenses
Chocolate, strawberry or salt flavoured#pop-corn. And before you say, "Err!
Strawberry pop-corn!" it's
actually quite nice.
$Oh, and I almost forgot, just to rub!in how incredable and up-to-date %they are, they also have two R-360's!
